Nine months is a good time to give birth. I have frantically tried to mature this whole year and reborn a happier, healthier, flowy, spiritual, pragmatic, creative, organized, loving, responsible, accountable being. Reaching 40 on October 31st is a big deal, just because I got to think so. I thought, hum! last year of youth, I must have fun while I put things in order. It took me so many years to realized life is a practical thing. I am not pragmatic yet. I am just open to learn all this matter of facts that I minded not so far. Today I discovered why money is important and I am finally open to receive my birthright share of wealth and prosperity (unfortunately, it does nor come through the pipes, some action is required, but I am willing to take needed action(s) so the current of gold runs under my kingdom). The good and scary thing about opening oneself is that information does come and signs are quite clear (sure, one sees what one can see and is wiling to see). I have seeing and disregarded the signs, but they reappear more and more intensely.
I set an order of priorities. I don't think I ever did this before in my entire life. Whenever I heard about priorities or objectives a foggy cloud of strange sensations invaded me, so uncomfortable that I had to quit the thought o exercises (yes, I took some workshops on goal settings,blah blah blah). I guess that is sort of what my boy felt the first day of school, after almost 2 month without a math exercise or any critical thinking reading. The anxiety of feeling inadequate although deep down we knew: I got this, it is in me, It will emerge. But does not emerge, because we did not learn to calm down and restart in owe. Fortunately, live gives us so many chances and does give us what we ask for, good and bad, always.
In searching for my life's turning point, or really, route to change (flipping nemesis), have read a lot this year (a lot more than my turtle pace reading capability) and listen to some amazing books. Audible has become my luxury need. Books have been so inspiring that I took a voice-over class to start recording those audio-books in Spanish. I guess my people can greatly benefit of much of what I have been listening. I have written journals like never before and had done less and better than years ago. Im a more involved mother, seeking to be the mom my son needs. I am working on eliminating my adrenaline rushed screaming. I am trying to be the loving wife I can become. - I still need to get some cooking lessons under my belt to keep his ever-savory Epicurean hubby's heart melted. I am practicing the patience I have claimed god to provide me. My parents are getting back to childhood sooner or later and I am trying to inform myself of what and why these regressions are happening. I am also slowed down to the max in my theater production since no funds are, at the moment, available to squeeze the creative juices. I decided, I will follow the experts advise and do nothing unless it produces (to pay everyone an agreeable piece of happiness).
I have in the mean time, had time to think how much I want to do do this, and what adjustments are positive at the moment. There are a few trips lined up that were a product of the old conduct and of course, I will satisfy, but no new engagement are to happen without mula, recognition and backup. I started thinking about good nutrition and enviable neckline. That is only in the thought process still. I am informing myself before I make the changes. This is a real challenge to which I have not power over yet. I see the yoga video and program on the couch and pinterest. It has not entered my body. I am dealing with self esteem issues, self-compassion and sabotage, and critically looking at the meaning of boundaries and integrity. That's heavy thinking, specially without smokes of any sort to free the mind.
So I have these 3 priorities. I am assuming they will remain my whole life in different shapes and needs. for now this is the goal:
Priority #1: Create peace and space: stop screaming and declutter the house
Priority #2: Prosper: Do only what produces
Priority #3: Obtain balance through good nutrition, mindful practices and good nights.
I set an order of priorities. I don't think I ever did this before in my entire life. Whenever I heard about priorities or objectives a foggy cloud of strange sensations invaded me, so uncomfortable that I had to quit the thought o exercises (yes, I took some workshops on goal settings,blah blah blah). I guess that is sort of what my boy felt the first day of school, after almost 2 month without a math exercise or any critical thinking reading. The anxiety of feeling inadequate although deep down we knew: I got this, it is in me, It will emerge. But does not emerge, because we did not learn to calm down and restart in owe. Fortunately, live gives us so many chances and does give us what we ask for, good and bad, always.
In searching for my life's turning point, or really, route to change (flipping nemesis), have read a lot this year (a lot more than my turtle pace reading capability) and listen to some amazing books. Audible has become my luxury need. Books have been so inspiring that I took a voice-over class to start recording those audio-books in Spanish. I guess my people can greatly benefit of much of what I have been listening. I have written journals like never before and had done less and better than years ago. Im a more involved mother, seeking to be the mom my son needs. I am working on eliminating my adrenaline rushed screaming. I am trying to be the loving wife I can become. - I still need to get some cooking lessons under my belt to keep his ever-savory Epicurean hubby's heart melted. I am practicing the patience I have claimed god to provide me. My parents are getting back to childhood sooner or later and I am trying to inform myself of what and why these regressions are happening. I am also slowed down to the max in my theater production since no funds are, at the moment, available to squeeze the creative juices. I decided, I will follow the experts advise and do nothing unless it produces (to pay everyone an agreeable piece of happiness).
I have in the mean time, had time to think how much I want to do do this, and what adjustments are positive at the moment. There are a few trips lined up that were a product of the old conduct and of course, I will satisfy, but no new engagement are to happen without mula, recognition and backup. I started thinking about good nutrition and enviable neckline. That is only in the thought process still. I am informing myself before I make the changes. This is a real challenge to which I have not power over yet. I see the yoga video and program on the couch and pinterest. It has not entered my body. I am dealing with self esteem issues, self-compassion and sabotage, and critically looking at the meaning of boundaries and integrity. That's heavy thinking, specially without smokes of any sort to free the mind.
So I have these 3 priorities. I am assuming they will remain my whole life in different shapes and needs. for now this is the goal:
Priority #1: Create peace and space: stop screaming and declutter the house
Priority #2: Prosper: Do only what produces
Priority #3: Obtain balance through good nutrition, mindful practices and good nights.